Why am i so pretty? Even my imaginary girlfriend's chode goes hard when she sees me?

Why am i so pretty? my head is only covered in split ends like half of it, i have small freckles,(only about .5 inch each) i have a small mole on my lips, (about 2 inches), im not fat or anything, i only have about 5 meals and day not including my hot dog daily snacks and im about 250 pounds of fat which is really little since im only 10 and my man boobs which are REALLY unnoticeable cause they only jiggle a little and many men mistake me for a sexy girl..... Anyways, about my imaginary friend, her chode goes so hard when she sees me and she wants to play pokemon with me.... i didnt even know we were on the pokemon stage and seeing her chode so hard, i got turned on and played pokemon with her. I beat her! she got scared when she saw me bring out my legendaries. btw her name is dennis. Her BIG boobs are about 1 inch in length and shes only 200 pounds. Her stomach is only about 10 inches in length..... Anyways since i turn her chode on too hard, she left me for a imaginary guy and now i can get anyone i want but i always scream her name by the phone and cry and say i hate you dennis! then IF she calls i say i didnt even want her to call then cry again and start the cycle again........ anyways what should i do to the imaginary guy? i mean i can get any other girl but i want revenge... i mean i prefer guys anyways but i still want revenge... BTW i really get horny when i see that guy, when i see the girl, her chode gets ugly and the guy's boobs and vagina get yummy..